So when you think of the really scary predators, what comes to your mind? Sharks? Lions? Tigers? Bears?

Squirrels?

If you said squirrels, then you are My Newest and Bestest Friend in the World.

I have been enduring heavy, heavy mockage from the spousal unit ever since Zubby caught and deaded a squirrel trying to break into our house through the plastic sheet over the doorway that links the rest of the house to my teensy cell like office.

The office used to have a front wall but is now open to the world as we change the wall to match the new roof we put on last fall. The buffalo may not yet roam there, the deer and the antelope may not yet play there, but gangs of marauding squirrels are trying to claim it as their new 'hood.

At various times during the day and night I can hear them scampering in that room, climbing up the wall that used to be the back wall of my office and running into the ceiling over the living room. I tend to tense up and look around nervously every time I hear the random pitter patter of little squirrel feet, something the spousal unit finds hilarious.

With much eye rolling he tells me they're only squirrels and once the wall is closed in it will all stop.

ONLY SQUIRRELS!

DOES THE MAN HAVE NO SENSE OF THE DANGER WE'RE IN???

I have visions of waves of thuggy squirrels breaking into our house, eating all my almond butter and beating up my cats. Oh sure, Zubby was able to take down one squirrel when it was mano a mano, but what if they come in as a gang? Huh? HUH?

Now you'd think that a kind, sensitive, supportive life partner could, you know, put aside his own perceptions of the situation and oh, I don't know, kind of humour me.

Would it hurt him to pretend that the squirrels are a danger? Could he not make manly threats against them? How about some vigourous oaths that my almond butter, my cats and I are all safe as long as he is around? Would that be too much to ask?

I THINK NOT.

Instead, this is what he made me for my birthday.

Squirrels.

He made me small wooden squirrels.

Never, ever marry a carpenter. It's bad enough to be teased with eye rolling and snippy remarks. It is a whole other thing when someone says it in wood.

--Marn

Mileage on the Marnometer: 274.27 miles (441.3 kilometers)
Goal for 2003: 500 miles - 804.5 kilometers