I went pretty much mental with excitement when I heard Cher's farewell tour was coming to Montreal the end of October.

As if THAT wasn't enough thrills and chills, I almost swooned when I saw that Cyndi Lauper was on the same bill.

Oh stop snickering.

If I want to be a veritable black hole of dorkiness, I will BE a veritable black hole of dorkiness.

I immediately whipped out my credit card and my mouse and ran over to Admissions.com to get me some ticket goodness. I knew there was no way I was dragging the spousal unit to this concert, but I figured my daughter might endure it.

I mean, she went with me to watch two nekkid Australian men play with their wedding tackle at Puppetry of the Penis. In light of that trauma, how much damage could be caused by hanging out with her mom and watching a 56-year-old woman strutting around a stage in wigs and thongage?

Exactly.

So I found the Cher page at Admissions, but there were no prices.

Hrm.

I began the ordering process because, after all, how expensive could it be?

NINETY FREAKING DOLLARS A TICKET THAT'S HOW EXPENSIVE! Even the nosebleed tickets are $70.

I almost fainted.

So it looks like I'll be at the Molson Centre in spirit on Oct. 21 but my cheap-arsed body is going to be out here in the boonies.