Monday, Dec. 19, 2011
Dear Diary:

I have a bone to pick.

People should just stop trying to cover Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. Seriously. It's time for a law to be passed or something that only the Judy Garland version is allowed to exist and every other singer has to cease and desist from singing the song.

Really, it's for their own good.

There are two movies that I make sure that I catch every Christmas season. One is the original Miracle on 34th Street (the one with Maureen O'Hara and Natalie Wood�any remake is an abomination not to be tolerated). The other is Meet Me In St. Louis, which features the luminous Ms. Garland singing the aforementioned Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,�
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.

As originally sung in the movie �Meet Me in St. Louis�, it's about trying to talk yourself into the simple child-like happiness you're supposed to feel at Christmas, sung just about as mournfully as possible because hey, Christmas is one tough, complicated holiday if you're not a child.

Which brings us to Saturday, specifically the tee vee show Saturday Night Live which had Michael Bubl� as the musical guest. And what did he decide to cover? Oh yes, The Bestest Christmas Song Of All.

So how did he do? Oh man, where do I begin. Let's see ...

Phrasing? Totally wrong.

High notes? Barely made 'em.

Demeanor? Did he subtly convey the battle between the facade of the words and the reality of the tune? Oh just shoot me now because the man smirked multiple times at completely inappropriate places. He was an embarrassment to both himself and all other Canadians, including myself.

So, like I said, I now feel more strongly than ever that there has to be a law: no covers of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, only the Judy Garland version. If nothing else, this will serve to protect other singers from themselves and spare them the pain of humiliation of just not measuring up.

Christmas is complicated enough. Let's work to make it a humiliation free zone.


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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -

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