Thursday, Apr. 25, 2002
Dear Diary:

You know, I've TRIED to hide the fact that I'm a churning, bubbling cauldron of searing sexuality.

No. Really. I have.

I've handed my hot, sexy bitch tiara on to Kehla, but Google has decided that I can run, but I can't hide.

Oh yes, Google keeps unmasking my Inner Jezebel.

You want big woman sex? Honey, as far as Google is concerned, I am numero uno. Oh yes, I OWN big woman sex.

Just think of me as the Incredible Hulkette of Sex.

Only not green.

You may be saying to yourself, "Sure, Marn's a size queen, but what does she know about the wild jungle lovin'?" Ask and ye shall be told.

Okay, so I'm not number one, but this morning I'm in the top ten of monkeys sex and really, when we're talking the hot, unbridled animalistic passions, we're talking the monkeys sex, right?

Still have your doubts? Hey, my appeal is international. Google is telling Italian men that when they're looking for old sex ladies they're looking for me.

Wait a minute.

This Is Not Good.

One minute you're a hot sexy bitch, the next you're an old sex lady.

Oh poop.

Why didn't anyone warn me this would happen? I ... I ... I am overcome with emotion.

Being a caring, sensitive, search engine, Google KNEW that I was going to need friends to pull me through this identity crisis, and it has pointed the way.

Now you might think that the question where can I buy an inflatable alien would not be relevant to propping up the fragile ego of a tender blossom such as myself, but go ahead, look at the number one result.

See what it says? See the company's promo line?

"Buy yourself some real friends!"

See, all my problems solved with a quick rattling off of the numbers on my VISA card.

Really, whatever would we do without the search engines to point the way, eh?


Old Drivel - New Drivel

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Want to delve into my sordid past?
She's mellllllllllllllting - Wednesday, Feb. 15, 2012 - Back off, Buble - Monday, Dec. 19, 2011 - Dispersed - Monday, Nov. 28, 2011 - Nothing comes for free - Monday, Nov. 21, 2011 - None of her business - Friday, Nov. 04, 2011 -

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2000, 2001, 2002 Marn. This is me, dagnabbit. You be you.